Latest revision as of 19:59, 5 May 2021

Objectives

Introduction

Have you ever struggled to pick the perfect gift for mother's day? I certainly have. I love receiving gift cards, but for some reason it feels wrong for mother's day. I hate to get flowers because they just die. On the other hand, it doesn't really seem right to get something for the kitchen as that is really something for me. I could go with a card, but that is going to find it's way to the trash can pretty fast. It is just hard, what do you get for someone that is meaningful?

As is usual the Bible has an answer if we are willing to look hard enough. Proverbs 31:31 commands "Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates. (NKJV)" Did you catch that? Proverbs speaks of giving the fruit of her hands. Now bear with me, I have not even argued yet that Proverbs 31:31 is a reference to your mother, and actually I am not going to truly make that argument. But we are getting ahead of ourselves, for the moment I want you to see that one of the greatest honors that can be given to a mother is for her to receive the fruit of her labor. What might this mean? I argue that one of the greatest honors you can give your mother is to live in a way that reflects some of her greatest moments; to live in a way that reflects a godly lifestyle.

Let me start at the beginning, Proverbs 31:10-31.

Main Body

Proverbs 31:10-31 is often referred to as "the Virtuous Wife." While it certainly speaks of a virtuous woman I think it is important that we think of it not as a standard to which we expect a woman to live but rather as a reason for which we should offer praise to a woman.

Setting the Stage (Verse 10)

In Proverbs 31:10 we see an interesting question. "Who can find a virtuous woman?" This question is not intended to suggest that no such woman exists but rather that such a woman deserves honor ^[1]. Traditionally, most of the verbs in Proverbs 31 are translated in a present tense. However, in the Hebrew, these verbs are often past. For example, in verse 16, the NKJV writes "She considers a field and buys it;" In reality, the verb is a past tense verb and we should probably say something like "She considered a field and then bought it." Did you catch the subtle change. Proverbs 31 is not calling on the woman to consider every field all the time and be responsible for all the decisions about which properties the family should purchase. No, Proverbs 31 is saying something like, "do you remember that time when dad was away at war and the neighbor's field became available. Mom, in her wisdom thought long and hard and finally decided to purchase the field. That was such a great investment." Okay, I have clearly embellished a bunch but you get the idea.

Now, I don't want you to worry that I am saying your Bible is wrong. I am absolutely not saying your Bible is wrong. What you hold in your hands is an amazing work of translation. The Bible was not written in English. And whenever you translate there are always things that don't come across properly. In English we tend to write in such a way that verb tense does not change within a paragraph or a sentence. However, in Proverbs 31, the Hebrew has verb tense changes all over the place. Now, I don't know exactly what decisions were made in your translation, but I suspect that writing good English was part of the decision. Hence, some of the verb tenses are lost in our translations. So does this mean we toss out our Bible? No! it means we study, and when we study what we find is that Proverbs 31 is not a checklist for a woman to complete every morning it is not a set of expectations that a man holds for his wife. Instead Proverbs 31 is a poem of honor for a woman who has lived honorably. Something like a lifetime achievement award. "Do you remember that time when she rose up and it was still night? I am sure she wanted to sleep but she knew that we needed her and so she was up." This slight change in perspective allows us to look at the woman described in Proverbs 31 recognize those same virtues in our mothers, wives, and other woman with whom we interact, thank them for their life, and ask what can we learn from our mothers that we can apply to our life today.

Proverbs 31:10-31 presents us with a list of reasons why we should praise the virtues of a woman and a model for how we can all live.

The verses themselves are an acrostic in Hebrew. Specifically, the first letter of each verse is the associated letter in the Hebrew alphabet. They would have been easy to remember in Hebrew and were something that could be taught.

Proverbs 31 is a particular set of proverbs which were apparently provided to King Lemuel by his mother. Within this passage we see that

God’s ideal is for people to live a life in reverence to him rather than focus on temporary human ideals.

My argument today is that living such a life is a means of honoring your mother by demonstrating the fruit of her labor.

Ephesians 5:25–27 speaks of the church as the Bride of Christ. As we seek to honor the women in our life today, I want you to think about your position as a member of the Church, the bride of Christ. Does your personal life reflect that of a virtuous bride? Within Proverbs 31 we are going to see several virtues, virtues that we see in the women in our life. Are you modeling those virtues yourself. Remember this is not a daily checklist, this is a willingness to do what is necessary if it is necessary.

Some Things We Can Learn From Women

Our Actions Should Bring Honor (Verses 11,12, c.f. 23)

• Verses 11-12: As we did into this lifetime achievement award what we see is that a central aspect of this individuals life was her trustworthiness. This woman's husband was able to trust in her. The word that we translate as "gain" in the NKJV is a word for spoils of war. Perhaps the idea is that the work the woman did was equivalent to a battle? I suggest that the audience might have realized that the man had to be away, maybe at war, but his ability to trust his wife's ability to maintain and manage the household in his absence gave him the ability to go and do what needed done.
• Verse 23: Verses 11-12 certainly build an interesting point but verse 23 caps it off. The woman's work in the man's absence brought great honor to the man.
• It is certainly the case that many of our mothers have done something similar in our own life. Maybe dad had to work late, travel, or something else. Regardless, mom kept things going in dad's absence.
• So what is the lesson that we can learn from our mom? We learn the value of trustworthiness. It is interesting that Christ is physically gone, he is in Heaven. But we here have been entrusted with his work on Earth. Do our actions bring honor to Christ? We all know women who have faithfully served their house in the absence of their husband, we need to learn from them what it means to faithfully serve as we await the return of Christ.
• Does this mean we stop everything and all become monks? No! that is not what Proverbs 31 describes. Rather we live life in a way that brings honor to Christ. Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 10:31 "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

There Are Times to Selflessly Toil (Verses 13-15, c.f. 19,20)

• Verse 13-14: The idea of wool and flax is that of seeking basic elements for fulfilling the needs of the house. The work is no trivial work but hard labor intensive work as wool become thread and thread becomes clothes. The description of merchant ship bringing food from far reminds us that sometimes there is hard work to be done. The imperfect verb in the phrase "she brings her food" may suggest that this was not a one-time occurrence but an event that had to happen frequently.
• Verse 15: Here we have a preterite that follows the imperfect of verse 14. The idea may be that there was a period of time where she had to get up early if she was going to accomplish everything that needed done. Remember this is not a todo list, this is a lifetime achievement award. Something like "do you remember that time when she got up every early every morning during the summer of 945 BC in order to keep the crops going when dad was away fighting the Philistines? (again I am embellishing but you get the idea.)
• I bet there were times in your own life when your mom selflessly served you or others. I want you to think back to that time for just a minute because I want to ask, "what lesson do we learn from mom?" Did you mom sacrifice her mornings to get you to Volleyball? Maybe she gave up every Saturday so you could play on that soccer team. Maybe you are struggling to come up with something. I dare say it is not because your mom did not sacrifice, it is because she sacrificed with a smile and you never realized it was a sacrifice.
• We need to realize that there are times in the Christian life, in the church where we will be called to selflessly serve, and it might be for more than just a single weekend. Just like the woman in Proverbs 31 we may need to make a sacrifice as we serve. When God calls on you to serve remember your mom. Maybe you can make the sacrifice without even letting others realize it is a sacrifice, now that is a lesson from mom.
• Romans 12:1 states "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service." The idea of selflessly serving is a central component of our faith.

Stewardship Demands Wisdom (Verses 16-18, c.f. 26,27)

• Verse 16: Remember that Proverbs was written in a time when war was common and war meant a significant amount of time spent away from home. We so often get caught in 1950 American thinking and ask why a woman would ever make such an important decision without the help of her husband. Well, guess what, there was a time when men would go to war and women would do the work of both husband and wife. In this case, the woman would wisely steward the resources of the household.
• Verse 17: The idiom "she girds herself with strength" conveys the idea of preparing for a heroic or difficult action. Stewardship is not easy but needs to be done.
• Verse 18: Someone might ask. Where did the woman get the strength and energy to be such a good steward? The answer, in verse 18 is that she knew it was worth the effort.
• It is not true of everyone here but there are probably a lot of you who at some point in your childhood were poor! No seriously, I have seen statistics that suggest that 60% of Americans will experience poverty. Again, you might not realize it because your mom was so careful to wisely steward.
• So what is the lesson we can learn from mom? We need to steward what God has given us wisely. This may be your money, but maybe it is something different. Maybe you need to be a wise steward of your time, your talents or something else. 1 Peter 4:10 calls on us to be good stewards of the grace God has given us " As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God."

So, what is it that you want to work on? You have an opportunity to honor your mother today, what better way to honor her than to determine to bring honor to Christ, to present yourself as selflessly willing to toil, or to wisely steward all that God has given you.

As Christians, we need employ virtuous practices in our service to Christ.

Don't Be Fooled (30-31)

But that is not all we can learn from Proverbs 31:10-31!

Within Proverbs 31, verses 10-29 describe the actions of a woman who deserves praise. What we saw was that the reasons to praise the virtuous woman are things that we can seek to model in our service to Christ. Now, let’s take a second and listen in on another important piece of advice that King Lemuel’s mother is about to provide her son in verse 30. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” On one level we see that this proverb appears to be heroic poem, where, in particular, true heroism is pitted against what were considered the desirable features of a woman in other Ancient Near East literature. Specifically, the poem counters the Ancient Near East focus on the physical, even erotic charms of a woman and the Hellenistic intellectual ideal. Rather than praising a woman who has mastered rational thinking, the poem praises a woman who fears God.

In order to walk through this conclusion to Proverbs 31 I want to present you with three concepts that come from this passage. Then, always, and now. That is, what was the significance of the passage when it was written? What is the eternal theological significance of the passage, and what does the passage mean for us today?

Then: King Lemuel's mother wanted him to know how to identify a praiseworthy woman:

The first bad reason to give praise: charm (30a)

The first non-indicator we see is charm. The idea here seems to be something like grace or elegance, a general idea of attractiveness. Everyone has seen a woman who demands attention, not just because of some notion of outward beauty but because of the way she carries and presents herself. King Lemuel’s mother wants Lemuel to know that there are women out there who are so charming that they demand attention. This charm, while promising a lifetime of fulfillment, can be empty. The outward charm can quickly fade to inward rot when out of the public eye.

The second bad reason to give praise: physical appearance (30b)

The second non-indicator is beauty. In this usage beauty is a reference to outward appearance. A real danger lies in making a decision based solely on outward appearance is that physical outward beauty fades with time. We all age, the beauty of youth fades into wrinkles, lines, blemishes and so forth. The individual who makes a choice based only on outward beauty will one-day awaken to the betrayal of age as outward beauty fades.

The reason to give praise: reverence (30c)

I call these two non-indicators because neither charm nor beauty is bad, but neither are either of them sufficient evidence of a praiseworthy woman. A praiseworthy woman, according to the proverb, is a woman who fears the Lord. The fear of the Lord is a major theme in Proverbs. In particular, as stated in Proverb 9:10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” The idea here is a woman who holds God in reverence. That is, a woman whose entire perspective, outlook on life is shaped by her reverence for God. Her decisions, her motivations, her desires are focused around her reverence of God. Such reverence is the true indicator of a praiseworthy woman. King Lemuel’s mother wanted him to know that a praiseworthy woman, a woman worth marrying, was a woman who revered God. Charisma could not bring lasting happiness, beauty would fade, but a reverence for God would bring a lifetime of happiness. As an immediate application, let me ask you, what are you praising people for? If you are married are you praising your spouse for revering God? What do you praise your children, friends, coworkers for? We need to praise people for revering the Lord

Application: What do you value?

We just finished going through Proverbs 31:10-29 and seeing what it looks like to live a life that demonstrates the fear of the Lord.

I told you we were going to look at then, always, and now. What we can see from verse 31 is that even back then people needed reminded of what was worthy of praise, what was valuable.

Always: The LORD does not look at the things people look at; the LORD looks at the heart:

Beyond knowing what deserves praise, there is a theological truth that we can see within the proverb. “What is that theology?” you might ask. The LORD does not look at the things people look at...the LORD looks at the heart.

A person’s charisma and personal appearance are not impressive to God (30a,b)

Throughout history, humans have tended to be drawn to charisma and beauty but that is not what we see in God. We have all seen a charismatic leader who can get people to follow them wherever they go. Humans are drawn to these charismatic leaders. We see crowds gather to hear them speak, people open their wallets to support their causes. There are times when it seems like these charismatic leaders can do no wrong. History is filled with accounts of leaders who are able to get men to follow them to their deaths. But throughout history, we see God looking beyond the charisma, looking at the heart.

A person’s willingness to live in reverence to God reveals their heart (30c)

Consider the example of King David’s anointing. In 1st Samuel 16:5-13, God sent Samuel to anoint the next king of Israel. Samuel, as a human thought he knew who God wanted as the next king of Israel. Surly God wants the tall handsome oldest son as the next King of Israel, after all, who better to lead God’s people. But how did God respond? The “LORD does not look at the things people look at...the LORD looks at the heart.” Later David is described as a man after God’s own heart. David was far from sinless, but throughout the narrative of David’s life we see a man who revered God.

Application: What do you work on?

What are you working on in your own life? Maybe you are studying hard to learn as much as you can, or maybe you love to exercise to get your body into great shape. These are great things to do, but remember, God looks at the heart. We need to make sure that we are striving to revere God more and more in our own life, more than we exercise, more than we study, we must strive to revere God. Again, in Proverbs 31:1-29 we saw what we should be working on. Are you willing to do it?

Now: Honor the Women in Your Life Through your Life

Maybe you are convinced now that King Lemuel's mother had a good point and King Lemuel needed to recognize what was praiseworthy in a woman. Maybe you recognize the theological truth that God cares about more than just charisma and physical beauty, but you still might be asking, “how does this apply to me I am working on my own life and working to revere God?” I believe that the wisdom contained in this proverb has a direct actionable item that each of us can apply.

The godly woman deserves praise. (30c)

Proverbs 31:10-31 is known as אֵשֶׁת חַיִל (chai-el Ei-shat) which is translated as The Woman of Valor. The poem is sometimes recited to honor a Jewish woman at her funeral. The whole point seems to be to honor what woman do. Remember the idea of a life-time achievement award. So the outstanding question we need to address is the question of how.

Recognize the Reward that Such Diligence Warrants(31)

Verse 31 brings us to a fitting conclusion, "give her the fruit of her hands."

We see the poet change from an imperative "Give her the fruits..." To a jussive, "let her own works...". This variation is likely purposeful and suggests that the first command is a command to people in general who recognize what the virtuous woman has accomplished while the second command establishes that such diligent work warrants praise.^[2]

Some say that imitation is the best form of flattery. Well what better way to honor our mothers than to imitate what they did to earn their lifetime achievement award?

The Bible Knowledge Commentary states, "Honoring a woman at the … gate was not normally done in Israel. But an unusual woman called for unusual recognition."^[3]

Conclusion

Mothers day is a day that is designated for honor to mothers. Proverbs 31 also calls on us to honor women. We can learn a lot from women. We can learn virtue and as we learn virtue we can live virtuously. And as we imitate ways in which our mothers brought honor, selflessly toiled, and were wise stewards we will not only bring them honor but we will bring honor to Christ.

So this mothers day I hope you got your mom a gift, or a card but don't forget that the greatest honor you could give your mother is not the card or gift but a determination to live a virtuous life for Christ.

References

Proverbs 31:30 provides an apt summary statement. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

1. ↑ John F. Walvoord and Roy B. Zuck, Dallas Theological Seminary, The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 972.
2. ↑ Waltke, Bruce K. The book of Proverbs, chapters 15-31. Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing, 2005.
3. ↑ John F. Walvoord and Roy B. Zuck, Dallas Theological Seminary, The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1985), 973.