2 Samuel 16:1-17:23 Wisdom Often Means Stepping Back

Title: Wisdom Often Means Stepping Back

• • Big Idea:** True wisdom refuses to seize control, choosing instead to trust God to accomplish His purposes.
  • Christ Focus:** Jesus is the perfectly wise King who entrusted Himself to the Father’s will rather than seizing power or retaliating against His enemies. Because He trusted the Father completely, we can patiently trust God amidst opposition and uncertainty.
  • Application:** Resist the urge to force outcomes through anger, manipulation, or worldly wisdom. Instead, patiently obey God and trust Him to accomplish His purposes in His timing.

Introduction

Setting the Stage:

Last week we watched David’s world collapse. Absalom stole the hearts of Israel, declared himself king, and forced David to flee Jerusalem. Rather than plunge the nation into civil war, David willingly left the city, trusting the Lord with the outcome.

As David leaves Jerusalem, he encounters both kindness and hostility. Ziba provides provisions for David’s weary company (16:1–4), while Shimei publicly curses and humiliates the king as he flees (16:5–14). Back in Jerusalem, Absalom seeks counsel from Ahithophel and Hushai concerning how to defeat David (16:15–17:14). Although Ahithophel’s military strategy is nearly flawless, God causes Absalom to reject it. Through Hushai and a network of faithful servants, David receives warning in time to escape across the Jordan (17:15–22). Ahithophel, seeing that his counsel has been rejected, takes his own life (17:23).

On the surface, this passage appears to be about political maneuvering, military strategy, and competing counselors. Beneath the surface, however, it asks a much deeper question:

• • Who is truly wise?**

Need:

Every one of us faces situations where we want to take control. We want immediate justice. We want quick solutions. We want to force outcomes in our favor. But God’s wisdom often calls us to do something much harder — to patiently trust Him while He works behind the scenes.

Preview:

This passage shows us three characteristics of genuine wisdom: - Wisdom waits instead of retaliating. - Wisdom refuses to trust solely in human solutions. - Wisdom rests confidently in God’s providence.

Body

**Wisdom Waits** — Genuine wisdom leaves room for God to work (16:5–14).

Wisdom refuses to retaliate simply because it has the power to do so (5-10).

David is fleeing for his life; his kingdom is collapsing. Now, as if things couldn’t get worse, a man from Saul’s family comes out to meet him — not with sympathy, but with stones and curses. David has the power to make it stop. This is what makes the moment so significant. David is surrounded by loyal soldiers; all it would take is one command to silence Shimei. Yet, David refuses.

Let’s slow down and look at what is happening.

In verse 5, as David and his group move east of the Mount of Olives, we are introduced to a relative of Saul named Shimei. At this point, we don’t know much about Shimei, other than that he has apparently been holding a deep grudge against David. He comes out and begins throwing stones at David and his men, cursing him.

Now, I don't know about you, but in my opinion, being hit with rocks hurts — even if they are relatively small rocks thrown from a distance. I was curious about the NIV’s use of the word “pelted” in verse 6, so I looked it up in the Hebrew text. The word is saqal (סקל), and it is frequently used for stoning, including the stoning of someone to death as an act of judgment under the law. This isn’t the picture of someone casually tossing a few pebbles in David’s direction. Shimei is aggressively assaulting David and his men as they pass.

Then we get to his words in verse 7.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Most of us know there isn’t a lick of truth in that saying. Words can hurt deeply, and Shimei’s words are particularly cruel, filled with accusations and humiliation. And notice something else: some of what Shimei says isn’t even true.

He calls David a “murderer” and a “scoundrel.” He claims that David is being punished because he stole Saul’s kingdom. But David didn’t murder Saul, and he didn’t steal the kingdom from Saul. David had repeatedly honored Saul and refused to take his life even when he had the opportunity. Yet Shimei’s accusations probably still hurt.

Why? Because even though David had gone above and beyond to honor Saul and his family, some still viewed him as the enemy. David is now experiencing the consequences of a rebellion that has turned his own son against him, and amidst that pain, Shimei comes along and pours gasoline on the fire.

My point is this: Shimei is doing everything he can to hurt and humiliate David. So what is the natural response when someone does everything they can to hurt you?

Enter Abishai.

Abishai responds to the offense almost exactly as I probably would have. David is surrounded by his own troops and special guard. Someone is attacking David, throwing rocks at him, cursing him, and humiliating him. So Abishai essentially says, “Why are we putting up with this? Let me go over there and remove his head.”

Simple. Problem solved.

But David responds with a definitive no.

And I want to take just a moment to recognize the wisdom in David’s decision.

The country is about to enter a civil war, but David is very careful about who his enemy actually is. The conflict is with Absalom and those who have followed Absalom — not with the entire house of Saul.

Yes, David might have been completely justified, politically speaking, in eliminating Shimei. But to do so would have been to attack the wrong enemy. David refuses to allow his anger to expand the conflict beyond what is necessary.

But this is more than political strategy.

Wisdom recognizes that God may be accomplishing purposes we cannot yet see (10-11).

David acknowledges that even Shimei’s cursing may ultimately serve God’s sovereign purposes. Rather than insisting upon his own rights, David entrusts himself to the Lord.

Look carefully at what David says in verse 10: > “If he is cursing because the LORD said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’”

David isn’t saying that everything Shimei says is true, nor that Shimei’s behavior is righteous. And he certainly isn’t saying that God approves of Shimei’s sin.

David is recognizing something much deeper: God is sovereign even over this painful moment.

And David understood why.

Shimei was wrong about Saul, but David knew God had already foretold that consequences would come because of his sin with Bathsheba and Uriah. Go back to 2 Samuel 12:10–11: > “Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.” > “Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you.”

God had promised that David would experience consequences because of his sin, and now David is living through some of those consequences.

That is why David can say in verse 11: > “Leave him alone; let him curse, for the LORD has told him to.”

And then David says something remarkable: “It may be that the LORD will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing instead of his curse today.” I want us to sit in that for a moment.

There is no doubt that what was happening to David was painful. There is no doubt that David was being humiliated. There is no doubt that Shimei was taking advantage of David’s circumstances.

And yet David refuses to seize control.

Why?

Because David knows that God is still God even when David doesn't understand what God is doing. David doesn’t know what God will do next: He doesn’t know whether God will judge Shimei, restore his kingdom, or even whether he will survive the rebellion.

But he knows God. And that is enough.

I have to admit that I have a rebellious, anti-authoritarian streak in me, and my natural reaction is to take justice into my own hands. When someone treats me unfairly, I want to correct the record. When someone hurts me, I want them to know they hurt me. When someone does something wrong, I want to fix it.

But David reminds us that there are moments when the wisest thing we can do is nothing — not because the wrong doesn’t matter, and not because justice doesn’t matter, but because God is at work in ways we cannot see.

When I insist on taking control, I may actually get in the way of what God is doing.

And it may be that God is not only working on the situation around me; He may be working on me.

Sometimes the person I most want God to change is the very situation God is using to change me.

Waiting on God often requires humility and self-control (10-14).

Patience is not weakness. It is the strength to trust God’s timing rather than demanding our own.

If I were to pick out one phrase from this passage, it might be David’s statement: > “It may be that the LORD will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing instead of his curse today.”

Think about the faith behind that statement.

David’s world is falling apart. His son has rebelled against him, his kingdom taken, his enemies pursuing him. A man is throwing rocks and cursing him.

Yet, David’s response is not, “How dare you?” His response is, “It may be that the LORD will...” David doesn’t know what God is going to do. But David knows who God is. And that is wisdom.

David’s confidence isn’t ultimately in his ability to control the situation. His confidence is in the character of God.

Psalm 86 is not specifically connected to this event — we don’t know when it was written — but it gives us a beautiful picture of David’s heart and his understanding of God. Listen to how David describes his relationship with the Lord: > “Hear me, LORD, and answer me, > for I am poor and needy. > Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; > save your servant who trusts in you. > You are my God; have mercy on me, LORD, > for I call to you all day long.”

Then in verse 5: > “You, LORD, are forgiving and good, > abounding in love to all who call to you.”

And in verse 11: > “Teach me your way, LORD, > that I may rely on your faithfulness; > give me an undivided heart, > that I may fear your name.”

And then verse 15: > “But you, LORD, are a compassionate and gracious God, > slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”

That is the kind of God David is trusting. David is not simply saying, “I’ll try to be patient.”

He is saying, “I know the God who is sovereign over this situation. I know He is compassionate. I know He is gracious. I know He is faithful. Therefore, I don’t have to take control.”

That is what makes David’s response so remarkable.

Action Step: Where are you tempted to “fix” a situation through anger, revenge, or control instead of patiently trusting God?

I am going to be blunt here: I think most of us strategize, manipulate, and try to control far too much. We want to control what people think, how they respond, and how our circumstances turn out. But sometimes wisdom means stepping back and trusting that God sees what we cannot see and is doing what we cannot do. Waiting on God does not mean doing nothing; it means refusing to take control of what belongs in God’s hands while faithfully doing what He has called us to do.

**Wisdom Rejects Mere Human Solutions** — Human wisdom cannot accomplish what only God can do (16:15–17:14).

Human wisdom can appear remarkably effective (15-23).

I have had the opportunity to work with some truly intelligent people in my life. Indeed, there are many brilliant individuals in the world. When I was in graduate school, my first Number Theory professor was an Englishman at the top of his field. Every day he would walk into class with no notes, write on the board for fifty minutes, and then leave. The next day he would walk in and pick up exactly where he left off. When we asked him questions, he would remind us of something he assumed we had learned in eighth grade — something that was itself far more complex than anything I had ever seen.

The man was mathematically brilliant, even if he sometimes struggled to understand his students. Absalom had a brilliant strategist of his own. His name was Ahithophel, and Scripture says that his advice was regarded as if someone were receiving an oracle from God.

That is a remarkable statement.

Ahithophel wasn’t a fool. His advice was intelligent, calculated, and strategically effective.

His first piece of advice was for Absalom to publicly take possession of David’s concubines. This was far more than an act of personal immorality. It was a public declaration that Absalom had taken David’s place. Everything that belonged to David now belonged to Absalom — from the most public aspects of kingship to the most intimate.

And it was a point of no return.

Absalom had not simply rebelled against his father; he had publicly declared himself to be David’s replacement.

From a human perspective, Ahithophel’s advice was effective. It strengthened Absalom’s claim to the throne and made reconciliation with David virtually impossible.

Human wisdom often measures success without considering God’s will (1-4).

Then Ahithophel gives Absalom his second piece of advice: pursue David immediately while he is exhausted, vulnerable, and disorganized.

The strategy is brilliant.

David has just fled Jerusalem. His forces are scattered. His supporters are exhausted. If Absalom attacks immediately, Ahithophel believes he can kill David before David has time to regroup.

Absalom likes the plan, and the elders of Israel like the plan.

Why wouldn’t they?

It makes sense.

And that is exactly the problem.

There is nothing inherently wrong with strategy. There is nothing wrong with thinking carefully, gathering information, or making a good plan. The problem is that throughout this entire conversation, there is no mention of seeking God.

They are asking, “What is the best way to accomplish our goal?”

They are not asking, “What does God want?”

And those are not the same question.

This is the point I want us to understand: human wisdom can be remarkably good at answering the wrong question. Ahithophel knows how to defeat David. He doesn’t know whether God intends David to be defeated.

And neither do we.

We can have a well-reasoned plan, good information, experienced advisors, and a strategy that makes perfect sense — and still be moving in the wrong direction.

We need God’s wisdom, not merely human wisdom.

God can overturn even the best human plans (5-14).

Then something remarkable happens.

Absalom asks Hushai for his counsel.

Hushai is secretly loyal to David, and he gives Absalom a completely different strategy. Instead of immediately attacking David, Hushai tells Absalom to gather a massive army and personally lead them into battle.

Strategically, Hushai’s plan is actually worse.

It gives David time to escape.

It gives David time to regroup.

It gives David time to strengthen his position.

And yet Absalom chooses Hushai’s plan over Ahithophel’s.

Why?

Verse 14 gives us the answer: > “For the LORD had ordained to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to bring disaster on Absalom.”

Don’t miss that.

Ahithophel’s advice was good advice.

The problem wasn’t that Ahithophel suddenly became stupid.

God simply determined that his good advice would not accomplish its intended purpose.

That is the point of this entire section. We can talk about strategy and political maneuvering, but underneath all of it is a much greater reality:

God is sovereign over human wisdom.

The wisest person in the room can still be wrong.

The most carefully constructed plan can still fail.

And sometimes God will frustrate a perfectly reasonable plan because He is accomplishing something we cannot see.

Image: Some of history’s greatest failures came when intelligent people mistook their limited understanding for complete understanding — and forgot that God sees what they cannot.

Some of history’s greatest failures have occurred when intelligent people acted on information that proved incomplete. In 1781, British General Cornwallis found himself trapped at Yorktown with Washington’s American army and French forces closing in around him. Cornwallis believed British relief forces would arrive, and based on the information available to him, remaining at Yorktown made sense.

But the relief never came.

The French fleet controlled the Chesapeake, Washington’s army completed the siege, and on October 19 Cornwallis surrendered. Cornwallis wasn’t unintelligent. He simply couldn’t see everything that was happening.

He could see his army.

He could see Washington’s army.

He could assess his defenses.

He could make reasonable calculations.

But he couldn’t see what was happening beyond his field of vision.

And that is us.

We can gather information, seek advice, make careful plans, and use everything we know — and still not know everything that matters.

We are intelligent, but we are not omniscient.

God sees what we cannot see.

Proverbs 16:9 says: > “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”

The question isn’t whether we should make plans.

The question is whether we are wise enough to recognize that our plans are always limited by what we cannot see.

Action Step: Ask yourself, “Is my decision shaped primarily by God’s Word or simply by what seems most practical?”

Before you make a decision, don't just ask, “What makes the most sense?”

Ask, “What does God say?”

Don’t merely seek the advice of people who are intelligent. Seek people who are wise enough to submit their intelligence to God.

And don’t confuse a plan that works with a plan that is right.

Sometimes the most practical decision is not the most faithful decision.

Human wisdom asks, “What can I accomplish?” God’s wisdom asks, “What is God calling me to do?” ---

**Wisdom Trusts God’s Providence** — God’s purposes cannot be defeated (17:14–23).

God accomplishes His purposes through ordinary people and ordinary events (14-17).

Hushai, Jonathan, Ahimaaz, a servant girl, a woman with a well, and countless unnamed people all become instruments in God’s plan. Think about this for a moment. Two young priests who probably seemed relatively insignificant are positioned to carry information to David that will ultimately save his life. I doubt Jonathan and Ahimaaz woke up that morning thinking, “Today God is going to use us to preserve the king.” And what about the woman with the well?

I doubt she ever imagined that the ordinary well in her backyard would one day become part of the story of how God preserved David’s life. The text almost reads like a spy movie. There are secret messages, messengers, hidden information, a servant girl carrying a warning, and people hiding in a well while enemies search for them.

But unlike a spy movie, we already know the outcome.

Why?

Because God has determined to frustrate Ahithophel’s counsel and preserve David.

And notice how God does it.

He doesn’t send an angel.

He doesn’t perform some spectacular miracle.

He simply uses ordinary people doing ordinary things at exactly the right time.

That’s an important reminder about God’s providence.

God doesn’t have to use extraordinary people to accomplish extraordinary purposes.

The two priests matter.

The servant girl matters.

The woman with the well matters.

The people who carry messages matter.

Even the seemingly insignificant details matter.

We often look for the big moments where God is obviously at work, but Scripture repeatedly reminds us that God is just as sovereign over the small details as He is over the dramatic ones.

The best spy movies have a twist where the person we thought didn’t matter turns out to be the linchpin.

In God’s providence, there are no insignificant people.

God is sovereign enough to use anyone and anything He chooses to accomplish His purposes.

God’s providence quietly overrules human schemes (17-22).

One of my favorite aspects of this narrative is that no explicit miracle occurs.

No angel appears.

The ground doesn’t open up.

The heavens don’t split apart.

God simply orchestrates people, timing, decisions, geography, and circumstances to preserve His king. And that’s providence.

When humans scheme, it may look like wrong is going to prevail. It may look like everything is moving in the wrong direction. But God’s purposes are not threatened by human schemes.

Sometimes I think we don’t fully appreciate how many seemingly minor details God is working through at any given moment. Think about that well.

I wonder who first dug it.

I wonder why they dug it in that particular place.

I wonder how many times people used that well without giving it a second thought.

And then one day, that ordinary well becomes part of God’s plan to protect David’s messengers.

Or think about the covering they hid beneath.

Who made it?

Who spun the thread?

Who wove it together?

Did that person have any idea that one day their ordinary work would be used to conceal the people carrying God’s message to the king? Probably not.

But that’s the beauty of providence.

God is working through details we may never recognize as significant.

And if we really believe we serve a God who can overrule human schemes, then we should also believe that even the seemingly insignificant details of our lives can be taken up into His purposes.

That should change how we view ordinary faithfulness.

The work you do may seem insignificant.

The conversation you have may seem insignificant.

The person you encourage may seem insignificant.

The seemingly small act of obedience may seem insignificant.

But we don’t know what God may be doing through it.

We don’t have to see the whole picture to be faithful in the part God has given us.

Those who build their hopes upon human wisdom are ultimately left empty (23).

And then we come to Ahithophel.

Verse 23 tells us that when Ahithophel saw that his advice had not been followed, he went home, put his house in order, and hanged himself.

Think about the contrast.

Ahithophel was extraordinarily intelligent. His advice was regarded as being almost like an oracle from God. He had a reputation for wisdom, influence, and political insight.

But when his plan failed, what did he have left?

Nothing.

His wisdom couldn’t save him.

His influence couldn’t save him.

His reputation couldn’t save him.

And ultimately, he took his own life.

The tragedy of Ahithophel is that he had tremendous wisdom about navigating circumstances, but he had no foundation when circumstances stopped going his way.

He had built his hope on his own ability to understand and control what was happening.

And when that control disappeared, so did his hope.

When we build our hope on human wisdom, we will eventually find ourselves grasping for control over things we were never meant to control.

That’s the danger.

Human wisdom says, “If I can understand enough, plan enough, and control enough, I can make life work.”

God’s wisdom says, “You don't have to control everything because God is in control.”

Realizing that David’s restoration is inevitable and that a brutal execution for treason awaits him, the veteran politician hangs himself to retain control over his final fate.

Think about that last sentence for just a minute. When we build our hope on human wisdom, all we can do is grasp at control, so much so that it costs us everything.

Action Step: Trust God’s providence even when His purposes are invisible. Faith often means believing God is working before we can see the results.

Faith often means believing God is working before we can see the results.

You may not understand why something is happening.

You may not see how God could possibly use a particular circumstance.

You may not even recognize what God is doing until years later.

But you don't have to see the whole plan to trust the One who does.

God’s providence means that nothing is insignificant when it is in the hands of a sovereign God.

Conclusion

David survives not because he was the strongest king, but because God remained faithful to His promises.

Ahithophel had brilliance. Absalom had power. David had God.

The greatest display of wisdom in this passage was not clever strategy but humble dependence.

David’s wisdom ultimately points beyond itself to the wisdom of Christ. Jesus is not merely another wise king; He is the Wisdom of God incarnate (1 Cor. 1:24). He willingly submitted Himself to betrayal, injustice, and death, knowing that the Father’s sovereign purpose could not fail. In His resurrection, God vindicated His Son and established the eternal kingdom that no rebellion can ever overthrow.

The world’s wisdom says, “Take control.” God’s wisdom says, “Trust Me.” The world’s wisdom says, “You need this win.” God’s wisdom says, “You can afford to lose this battle because I have already won the war.”

One of the clearest marks of spiritual maturity is learning that sometimes the wisest thing you can do is faithfully obey, patiently wait, and allow God to accomplish what only He can do.