Theological Proposition/Focus: The Call of a Christian is a call to live according to the models that God has given us regardless of how we feel about those models.

Homiletical Proposition/Application: Evaluate how you are using your relationship status within God's work.

Introduction: Memory Verse: - 1 Cor. 7:17

Image: The instructions are there for a reason.

I don't always follow the instructions and sometimes it gets me in trouble. Have you ever opened up a package, and looked at most of the parts, though, I see how this goes together and just started working. Then you get to the end and see that you are left with one last piece and when you go to install it you realize that you should have put it in 25 steps ago because it only fits if you put it in at step 3. The reality is that our intuition gets us in a lot of trouble. Instead, we need to follow the instructions. Or in the case of 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, we need to follow God's model.

Need: We need to ensure that we are following God's model for marriage and singleness.

Subject: Marriage

Preview: Today we are going to look at 1 Corinthians 7 and we will see that God has a model for both marriage and singleness.

Text 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, Scripture Leading Points

Setting the Stage:

Recall that the book of First Corinthians was written by the Apostle Paul around AD 55 three years after Paul's first visit to the city of Corinth. The primary issue that Paul seems to be dealing with is the issue of problems in the Corinthian church surrounding the question of "what does it mean to be people of the Spirit.”

The Corinthians had formed a bunch of factions and were creating all sorts of problems in the church.

In the first half of the book Paul dealt with a number of issues by reminding the Corinthians of their calling.

1 Corinthians 1:1-9, Called to Christ, 1 Corinthians 1:10-2:5, Called to Humble Unity, 1 Corinthians 2:6-16, Called to Wisdom, 1 Corinthians 3:1-17, Called to Spirituality, 1 Corinthians 3:18-4:5, Called to Christ Part II, 1 Corinthians 4:6-21, Called to Humble Unity Part II, 1 Corinthians 5:1-13, Called to Deal With Sin, 1 Corinthians 6:1-11, Called to Discernment, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, Called to Purity

Here in the second half of the book Paul sort of removes the gloves and begins dealing with some hard issues.

It seems that the church of Corinth had written Paul a letter asking him some hard theological questions and here Paul begins responding to those questions.

Body

In God's model, the gift of sex should only occur within the bounds of marriage. (1-7)

Today we are going to talk about sex a lot. Why, because the Bible talks about sex a lot. In our society we have a problem; talking about sex is viewed as either completely free or completely off-limits. We convey to people one of two messages. Either have sex with whomever you want whenever you want, or sex is a dirty thing. Both are lies. We must understand that

The gift of sex is both beautiful and dangerous. (1-2)

Paul begins with the statement "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." Notice he does not say best!

Cultural context matters. Paul is writing to a culture that supports complete freedom in sex. Paul writes to tell the people that abstinence is not bad, in fact, abstinence is a good thing.

In Chapters 5 and 6 Paul comes down hard on improper sexual relationships. In fact, Scripture comes down hard on improper sexual relationships.

Paul may even be quoting the Corinthians in stating "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman."

In light of the restrictions on sex, the Corinthians may have come to the conclusion that it would be better simply to abstain from sex. Paul responds by quoting them. However, even though there is a partial truth to the statement, Paul follows up by clearly indicating there is more nuance than these Corinthians realize.

Abstinence is good, but not if abstinence leads to sin. The solution was to express sexuality within the bounds of marriage.

Note: This is not to say that the only purpose of marriage is sexual fulfillment. Neither is this to say that anyone struggling with sexual sins should simply get married. Both are oversimplifications of or over-generalizations of the text. The point here is that sex finds its proper expression within the bounds of marriage.

Sex is a wonderful gift of God given to his creation but because of sin, it is a dangerous gift that must be carefully bounded.

What might have seemed like a spiritual or pious statement "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." is in fact a temptation to sin.

In a surprising turn of events, Paul notes that the gift of sex is for both husband and wife.

Not only should each man have sex with his own wife but likewise each wife with her husband. Paul has really pushed us forward into something important here. Sex is designed to be shared and enjoyed by both the husband and the wife. It is a gift to the husband and the wife. This would really have been a strong statement in a culture where men dominated and this sets the stage for Paul's next subpoint.

Sex, properly practiced, involves mutual submission in a way that is truly counter-cultural. (3-6)

Let me state one more time, sex is a natural part of marriage.

In fact, the phrase we translate as "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife" is really a little stronger "The husband should pay the wife what is owed" The word debt might sound offensive in the realm of marriage, but remember marriage is a covenant relationship, there are contractual responsibilities.

Sex is an outward expression of an inward reality, mutual submission.

In the book "The Meaning of Marriage" by Tim Keller, Keller talks about the importance of a married couple having sex even if they don't feel like it. Sex within the bounds of marriage is an important part of a healthy marriage. I don't want to be too graphic but what I want you to notice is that. Sex involves mutual submission as the fig leaves are removed, the well-being of the other is sought, and one's body is offered to the other.

Our culture says my body. However, properly practiced sex offers everything to the spouse for their benefit. The opposite of my body.

There is a place for abstinence but it is by mutual agreement, for a predefined period of time, and for the explicit purpose of prayer.

Moreover, according to verse 6, this is not a normal practice but rather something that can, on occasion, be allowed.

Abstinence is a gift given to some. (7)

Everything needs to be balanced and we can't let the pendulum swing, both sex, and abstinence have a place in the church.

Husbands and wives are commanded to have sex.

Singleness provides an amazing opportunity to serve God.

Verse 8 makes it clear that Paul was unmarried at this point.

As a Jewish man who may have cast a vote on the Sanhedrin Paul was likely married at some point. Perhaps his wife had died, or perhaps he never was married. We don't know!

What we do know is that Paul saw great value in his singleness but clearly did not see his singleness as more valuable than preserving marriage and the sexual relationship within marriage.

MTR: Carefully evaluate your attitude toward sex.

In God's model, there is purpose in both marriage and singleness. (8-9)

Singleness has a good purpose in God's economy. (8)

Paul addresses a broad group here.

Includes those who have been divorced and Includes those who have lost a spouse to death

The word good (καλὸν) does not necessarily always mean morally good but can mean "in accordance at a high level regarding purpose"

In short, you can have a meaningful life without being married!

Churches need to understand this - too often churches act as if being married and/or having children is required for a purposeful life.

God may give someone the gift of singleness and if that is the case then we as a church need to make sure that we are prepared to support them in their single life. God may not allow someone to have children we need to make sure that we as a church support them in this aspect of life.

Don't ask someone when they are going to settle down and get married and don't go around asking people when they are going to start having kids.

The command to be fruitful and multiply is given to all people and implies marriage. However, it is not necessarily a specific command given to all people individually. Here Paul tells us it is good for some not to marry.

Image: The world treats people who are married and have kids differently. Let's not be like that.

Marriage has a good purpose in God's economy. (9)

Is the only purpose of marriage to provide an outlet for sexual expression? No!

Marriage is much more, marriage is the provision of a helper, Marriage is the representation of Christ's love for the church, Marriage is a selfless act whereby one commits to put the needs of the other above their own. See Ephesians 5:21-24

Does marriage provide a place for sexual expression to occur? Yes

Don't read more than is in the text. Paul does not say that marriage is only good for sex, he says that marriage is good for sex. There is a big difference.

Likely there was a group in Corinth who committed themselves to being single. However, these individuals were not gifted with singleness and passion burned.

Paul is telling these people, "Look, it doesn't appear that God intended for you to be single, and you are struggling to maintain such purity. Why don't you go ahead and marry?"

MTR: Consider your status. How are you using your current status?

In God's model, the covenant entered through marriage matters. (10-16)

What does Paul mean by saying "I, not the Lord in verse 12?" Does this not carry authority? No! Don't overthink it.

Paul's command in verses 10 and 11 mirrored the words of Christ in Mark 10:7-12

Paul is stating that even though Christ did not speak directly to individuals married to an unbeliever this does not let them off the hook, there is authoritative teaching for them.

The marriage covenant is very important to God. (10-11)

In the greco-roman world divorce was easy, all someone needed to do was get both parties to agree or sometimes even one, and then the marriage was over.

This is not what God intended for marriage and is not what Christ taught in Mark 10:7-12

The principle is simple, when problems arise in a marriage resolution should be sought through reconciliation.

The difference between the wife "separating" and the husband "divorcing" is probably just stylistic as the word for separating was commonly also used of divorce.

Sometimes we get so bogged down in what constitutes right divorce or wrong divorce that we forget the simple truth. God does not intend for divorce to occur and if it does he desires that we even then seek reconciliation.

A call to Christ does not negate the marriage covenant. (12-13)

In the Old Testament the idea of mixed marriage between someone who followed God and a pagan was very bad and in some circumstances called for divorce (Ezra 10:3). In light of the Gospel of Christ neither Christian husbands nor Christian wives are to seek divorce from their unbelieving spouse.

The general principle or rule to which Christians are called is simple "No divorce". Exceptions are simply exceptions that prove the rule.

This is an important test case for lots of situations. i.e. compatibility - it is hard to imagine being more incompatible than one being saved and the other not.

This is an important test case. Jesus allowed divorce in the case of unfaithfulness but what if we just are no longer compatible or we just don't get along anymore? The answer is really pretty simple. If two people who do not even believe in the God and salvation can remain married then your incompatibility is not a good excuse.

In fact, the marriage covenant may provide the opportunity for evangelism. (14, 16)

Verse 14 does not guarantee the unbelieving spouse is guaranteed to be saved - they are still described as unbelieving.

Remember sanctified and holy are terms that refer to being set apart.

The key idea here is that the unbelieving are placed into close-quarter encounters with God and His grace. They are privileged or set apart in a way that gives them a unique level of access and witness to how God works in a person.

There is a very real sense in which being the child of a Christian or the spouse of a Christian is a privileged position compared with those who never hear the Gospel at home.

We don't need some complicated understanding of whole-house salvation that is incompatible with the rest of Scripture. We simply recognize that knowing a Christian closely is huge for evangelism.

The pragmatic reason for remaining married to an unsaved individual is simple: you may be able to lead them to Christ as they see you become more Christlike.

There is actually a theological principle at work here Romans 3

Romans 3:1 "What advantage, then, is there in being a Jew, or what value is there in circumcision? 2 Much in every way! First of all, the Jews have been entrusted with the very words of God."

In other words, Israel had a great advantage when it came to salvation, their pump was primed.

However, this does not guarantee salvation

Romans 3:9 "What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin."

Salvation is not guaranteed for someone in this case because it comes through faith in Jesus. However, being in close quarters with the Holy Spirit brings about real blessings and real encounters with the God of the universe.

That being said, the marriage covenant is not your only priority (but it is very important). (15)

Marriage is a mutual relationship and therefore, it is possible for the marriage to be broken by a single individual.

When this happens the abandoned partner is not enslaved to preserve something that is already broken! We are called to Christlikeness, peace

If an unbelieving spouse chooses to stay then choose peace and honor their commitment. If an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave then choose peace and treat them in honor as Christ treats others.

Our highest calling is Christ's likeness which means putting others first. Be careful, this is not a get-out-of-jail-free card, this is a calling to put others first.

I know of very few marriages where they ended and one party could genuinely say they had put the other first (I think I know of one or two) In most cases, both parties choose to end the marriage because neither is willing to make the peaceful, self-sacrificial decisions.

Image: If you know someone's priorities you really can explain their behavior.

The research that my last PhD student did at UNL was an analysis of teacher decision making based on the teachers goals and beliefs, or in simple terms priorities. She found that if you knew the priorities of a teacher then you really could explain the decisions that the teacher made. The results are not surprising. Your priorities really do determine your outcomes.

MTR: Evaluate your priorities.

1 Corinthians 7:1-16, Called to Gods Model

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