Romans 14 The Gospel — Gods invitation to consider others

Title: The Gospel — God’s Invitation to Consider Others

Big Idea: Because the Gospel brings us into Christ-centered relationship, we willingly limit our freedom to build up others. Christ Focus: Jesus Christ did not please Himself but gave Himself for others; in Him we see that love willingly lays down rights for the good of others. Application: Examine your freedoms, your convictions, and your influence — then choose what builds others up, not just what you are free to do.

Introduction

Image: Mothers instinctively make decisions with their children in mind — what they eat, where they go, what they allow — not because they lack freedom, but because love reshapes how they use it.

Most people know the name Serena Williams. Fewer know the story behind how she got there. Before the championships, before the endorsements, before the world knew her name, there was a young girl with extraordinary talent — and a thousand opportunities in front of her. Coaches saw it. Scouts saw it. The path to early success was wide open. Play more tournaments. Travel more. Go faster. Get noticed sooner. And she could have. Her family had the freedom to say yes to all of it. But her mother, Oracene Price, made a very different set of decisions. She said no — over and over again. No to extra tournaments. No to early exposure. No to the pressure to rush success. Not because her daughters lacked ability — but because she was thinking about who they were becoming, not just what they could achieve. While others were pushing their kids into the spotlight, she was pulling hers back. She limited how often they competed so they wouldn’t burn out. She protected their time so they could grow as people, not just athletes. She absorbed criticism from people who thought they were being held back. She had the freedom to accelerate their success — but love led her to restrain it. And that’s the part of the story most people don’t see. Greatness wasn’t just built on talent or opportunity — it was shaped by a mother who chose, again and again, not what was possible…but what was best.

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That’s what love does. It doesn’t just ask, “What am I free to do?” It asks, “What will build someone else up?”

Setting the Stage:

It seems that whenever you find a group of people, you will find some level of division. This is unfortunate but true. It seems like often we cannot help but divide! This shouldn't be!

The early church was no different and found itself regularly divided over disputable matters — diet, days, and personal convictions. We see this probably most pronounced in 1 Corinthians, but it also appears in other places. In fact, in the book of Galatians, we learn that Paul himself had to confront the apostle Peter over a similar issue.

In Romans 14, Paul addresses the sort of divisions that can cause so many problems.

Paul doesn’t eliminate differences — he teaches believers how to live together in them.

Body

**Gentle** — Mature believers refuse to divide over disputable matters (14:1-12).

Maturity is not measured by how much theological knowledge you have, but by the shape of your love.

You don’t need to prove your theological superiority (1-4).

Have you ever heard the phrase, “there is always a bigger fish?” I’ve seen that play out time and time again. Someone thinks they are the best athlete or the brightest student — only to discover that in a bigger pond, they fall far short. When I began my PhD at the University of Colorado, I quickly realized there were some really — really — smart people out there who knew far more than I did. There is always a bigger fish. But there was one student — I don’t remember his name, so let’s call him Nick — who drove everyone crazy. Nick was smart. After all, he had been accepted into a top-50 PhD program in mathematics. But Nick believed he was the smartest person he had ever met. Every opportunity to correct someone, he took. If someone didn’t know something he did, he made sure to say things like, “Well, it’s obviously…” or “I think I learned that back in middle school…” On the complete opposite end was Will. Will was probably the smartest person in the program — but he never made anyone feel small. In fact, he went out of his way to understand where others were getting stuck and to walk with them. I remember working on a problem with him, and instead of just giving the answer, he asked me questions. He likely could have solved it immediately — but he wanted to bring me along. The difference between Nick and Will is striking. And yes — Will is his real name. It’s been over 15 years since I’ve talked to him, but I still remember him…because he was gracious. He was gentle. In Romans 14:1–4, Paul calls us to that same kind of gentleness. He begins: “Accept the one whose faith is weak.” That’s straightforward. But what follows is striking. The NIV says, ‘without quarreling over disputable matters.’ But the Greek carries the sense of: ‘not for the purpose of arguing about opinions.’ In other words: Welcome them in — but don’t come with a hidden agenda to debate them. Accept them…without planning to divide over things that ultimately don’t matter. Paul then gives examples — dietary practices and differing convictions — and makes the point clear: both groups are accepted by God, so neither has the right to condemn the other. In the Greco-Roman world, some believers only ate vegetables to avoid meat that may have been offered to idols. Others felt the freedom to eat anything. Paul doesn’t take sides — he corrects both. The strong must not despise. The weak must not judge. Why? Because God has accepted them both. And in doing so, Paul reminds us: When you judge another believer over disputable matters, you are stepping outside your lane. You are evaluating someone else’s servant. That’s why I frame it this way: We often judge because we feel the need to prove we are right. We do mental gymnastics to excuse our own sin while highlighting someone else’s difference. Now let’s be clear — sin is sin, and Scripture calls us to name it. But not everything is sin. Some things are matters of conscience, wisdom, and conviction. And when something falls into that category, Paul’s instruction is simple: Don’t turn it into a battleground.

You do need to live consistently with your convictions (5-6).

In verses 5–6, the conversation shifts from food to days. Some believers honored certain days — likely the Sabbath — while others did not. And again, Paul doesn’t command uniformity. Instead, he calls for conviction. “Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.” That’s significant. Your convictions do not have to match mine. In fact, we should expect differences in conviction. What matters is not uniformity — but sincerity before God. Each person is called to carefully evaluate what they believe God is leading them to do — and then live in alignment with that conviction. And notice why: Paul says they do it ‘for the Lord.’ That language matters. This is not just preference — it is devotion. Not just lifestyle — it is worship. Following your convictions can be an act of worship and sacrifice to God. So if you feel convicted not to work on Sunday — then don’t work. And let that be worship. But if someone else works that day, you don’t judge them — you recognize that they, too, are seeking to honor the Lord. And maybe instead of criticizing, you ask: “How do you worship in your rhythm?” You might discover that beneath different practices is the same desire — to honor Christ.

You ultimately answer to God, not each other (7-12).

Now we come to the tension — the double-edged sword. Paul reminds us that none of us lives to ourselves, and none of us dies to ourselves. We belong to the Lord. And because we belong to Him, we will answer to Him. On one hand, this is freeing: Your brother or sister in Christ is not your judge. But on the other hand, this is sobering: You are not free from judgment — you are accountable to the God of the universe. So yes, no one else gets to bind your conscience where God has not. But if God has convicted you, and you ignore that conviction, you will answer for that. Think about it this way: If God has not convicted you about something, you can stand before Him with confidence, knowing you acted in good faith. But if He has convicted you, and you chose to disregard it, no amount of justification to others will matter — you will give an account to Him. That’s the weight of it. You are not judged by others — but you are accountable to God.

Image: Academic debates aim to win arguments; the church aims to win people.

I used to attend a lot of academic conferences, and I’ll tell you — especially in the sciences — they can get intense. Imagine a room full of highly intelligent people, all trying to prove they’re the smartest person in the room. The debates get technical, nuanced, and at times…heated. I remember Emily once leaned over and asked, ‘Are these guys about to punch each other?’ I said, ‘No…this is actually pretty normal.’ It was funny — but also revealing. Academic debates aim to win arguments. To prove intelligence. To establish credibility. But the church is not called to win arguments — we are called to win people. So at every turn, we have to ask: Am I trying to prove that I’m right… or am I helping someone follow Jesus? Because those are not always the same thing.

**Aware** — Mature believers consider how their freedom affects others (14:13-18).

Throughout Romans, Paul has been reorienting our understanding of freedom. Most people think of freedom as freedom from something. But Paul consistently reframes it as freedom to something — freedom to righteousness, freedom to obedience, freedom to love. And now he presses it further: We are not freed from obligation — we are freed to love others.

Stop judging; start evaluating your influence (13-14).

In verses 13–14, Paul returns to the issue of food, but with added clarity and weight. Building on God’s judgment in verses 10–12, he gives a direct command: Stop judging one another. But he doesn’t stop there. At the same time, he says: Be careful that your own actions do not become a problem for someone else. The word ‘stumbling block’ in verse 13 carries the idea of something placed in the road — an obstacle that causes someone to trip or prevents them from moving forward. You could picture it as a road barricade that shuts everything down. A few months ago, the city closed the road in front of Sergey and Inna’s house. Barricades went up, and to anyone passing by, the message was clear: ‘this road is closed.’ But Sergey and Inna knew something others didn’t. If you were going to their house, you could carefully drive past the barricade. The road was rough — but it was still passable. That’s a helpful picture. When we misuse our freedom, we can make the road to Christ appear closed. It’s not truly closed — but to those on the outside, it looks blocked. In verse 14, Paul makes his own position clear. He is fully convinced — deeply persuaded — that no food is unclean in itself. And he says this conviction comes in the Lord Jesus — this is not mere opinion; it is grounded in the teaching of Jesus Christ Himself. And yet — even with that confidence — Paul refuses to dismiss the convictions of others. He has clarity. He has freedom. But he will not use that freedom in a way that harms someone else.

Your choices can either build up or tear down (15-16).

In verses 15–16, Paul’s language becomes intentionally strong — almost jarring. He reminds us that Christ gave His life in the ultimate act of selflessness. And yet, it is possible for us to take the freedom He purchased and use it in a deeply selfish way. Not to undo salvation — nothing can undo what Christ has accomplished — but to cause real spiritual harm to another person. That should stop us. We often assume our actions are neutral — or at least contained to ourselves. Paul says otherwise. Your choices are never just about you. They carry the power to build someone up — or to tear them down. In fact, Paul warns that something good in itself can become harmful in its effect. You can take something permissible — and, through careless use, turn it into something destructive in someone else’s life. That is a sobering reality.

God’s kingdom is about righteousness, peace, and joy — not personal preference (17-18).

Have you ever had an incredible meal all by yourself? Maybe on a work trip — you find a great restaurant, the food is excellent…but it’s just not the same. Compare that to something simple — like cheap pizza shared with family — and somehow, that meal feels richer, fuller, better. Why? Because the experience isn’t ultimately about the food — it’s about the relationship. Paul is making a similar point. The kingdom of God is not about eating and drinking. Those things may add texture to life — but they are not the substance of it. The kingdom is about righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. Yes, there may be feasting in the future — and I’m convinced there will be — but eternity is not about the feast. It’s about the relationship. And then Paul goes one step further in verse 18. When someone lives this way — prioritizing Christ and others over personal preference — it becomes visible. It becomes attractive. You’ve seen people like this. People who understand their freedom, but who are so focused on serving Christ that others are drawn to them. And you’ve seen the opposite. People who claim Christ, but use their freedom carelessly — judging, flaunting, dismissing — and in doing so, they push others away. So here’s the call: Live in a way that makes Christ attractive. Not by abandoning conviction — but by holding everything in proper proportion and consistently choosing love.

Image: Mothers know how to do this almost instinctually.

Mothers often model this kind of awareness without even thinking about it. Some choose not to watch certain shows — not because they can’t, but because it wouldn’t be helpful for their kids. Others give up foods they love while breastfeeding because of a child’s allergy. They willingly limit their freedom for the sake of someone else. I experienced this personally. When I was in elementary school, I struggled — especially with reading. And every day, my mom gave up her evenings to sit with me at the table. She worked through homework with me, patiently and consistently, helping me do what I could not — and honestly, what I did not want — to do on my own. Day after day, she sacrificed time and energy for my good. That’s the kind of selflessness Paul is calling us to.

Action Step: This week, intentionally ask, “Will this help or harm someone else’s walk with Christ?”

1. 1. 1. 1. Practical Ways to Live This Out
            1. Pause before you act.

Build a simple habit: before you exercise a freedom, ask, “Who might this affect — and how?” Even a 5-second pause can shift your mindset from self to others.

1. 1. 1. 1. 1. Use your words to build up, not just to be right.

Before you speak — especially on disputable matters — ask, “Will this strengthen their faith or just prove my point?” Being right is not the goal — building others is.

1. 1. 1. 1. 1. Replace ‘Can I?’ with ‘Should I?’

Train your thinking to move beyond permission to purpose. Not just, “Am I allowed to do this?” But, “Will this reflect Christ and help others follow Him?”

**Edifying** — Mature believers prioritize building others over exercising freedom (14:19-23).

Peace and edification stand in contrast to destruction and stumbling (19-20).

The model of the world is simple: Powerful people use their power to gain more power over the weak. But in Romans 14, Paul presents a completely different model. In God’s economy, the strong are not called to leverage their strength for personal advantage — but to use it for the good of others. Strength is not for self-promotion. It is for mutual edification. That changes everything. It means the goal is no longer winning the argument or proving your mastery. The goal is building peace and strengthening others. And we need to feel how radically different this is from the world. Mutual edification means you will sacrifice. It means you won’t take everything you could — you will make sure others benefit. It means your freedom is filtered through love. To put it in business terms: This is the owner who refuses to pay the bare minimum and instead chooses to be generous — even when it cuts into profit — because people matter more than margins. Then verse 20 gives the other side. The strong don’t just have the ability to build up — they also have the ability to tear down. Paul warns that you can actually destroy the work of God in someone's life by pressuring them to act against their conscience. That is an incredible responsibility.

You may need to take extreme measures to avoid causing destruction and stumbling (21).

Up to this point, Paul has been pressing against selfish decision-making. In verse 21, he makes it unmistakably clear: It is better not to eat meat or drink wine if it causes someone to stumble. That’s strong. In Rome, meat may not have been properly handled according to Jewish law — or it may have been associated with idol worship. Wine could have been connected to pagan rituals. And Paul’s conclusion is simple: If there is a real risk of causing someone to stumble — don’t do it. That’s not moderation — that’s sacrifice. So how do you know when something might cause someone to stumble? Here’s the challenge: you can’t always just ask. If you’re in a position of influence and you say, “Hey, I know this might bother you — are you okay with it?” What are they going to say? Most people won’t say no. They’ll defer. They’ll minimize. They’ll go along. So the answer is deeper than a question — it’s relationship. You need to know people well enough that you understand their story, their struggles, and their sensitivities before the moment comes.

Be careful not to let libertine practices move you from your own convictions (22-23).

At the end of the day, we do have real freedom in Christ. But Paul reminds us — your freedom is ultimately lived out before God. There is a narrow path here: On one side, you don’t impose your convictions on others. On the other, you don’t violate your own convictions under the banner of ‘freedom.’ Freedom is not permission to ignore what God has pressed on your heart. If you act against your conviction, even in something ‘permissible,’ Paul says it is sin — because it is not done in faith. So yes, freedom is real. But it is also weighty. It must be handled carefully, because what is safe for you may be dangerous for someone else — and what is permissible in theory may be disobedient for you personally.

Image: My position on alcohol.

Let me make this concrete with an example that I have chosen to implement in my own life. My decision about alcohol isn’t primarily about the act itself. I’m not standing here today to declare it universally right or wrong. That’s not the point. For me, it’s actually almost beside the point. I don’t drink because: It could cause someone else to stumble, and Between me and God, I have a conviction about it. So for me, the decision is simple. It’s not about the drink. It’s about the people around me — and my accountability before God. ‘My decision about alcohol isn’t primarily about the act itself — it’s about the people around me and my accountability before God.’

And what has been incredible about this is that people are not offended by my position. I spent a lot of time at a lot of functions with university faculty with a lot of alcohol. And, guess what? Every time I explained my decision to someone, I was met not with scoffing but with profound respect.

Conclusion

Bring it back to Christ: Jesus had every right — but laid them down. He did not live to please Himself. He gave Himself to bring us into relationship.

1. 1. 1. 1. Final Call

The Gospel doesn’t just save you — it reshapes you. So the question is no longer: ‘What am I free to do?’ But: ‘What will best reflect Christ to others?’

1. 1. 1. 1. 1. Mother's Day Connection